Fear Sucks!

Posted in Uncategorized on July 14, 2016 by Stunning Love

Ok so fear can be a useful tool, when we understand that it is to be used to help find a solution to protect ourselves in the face of real danger. However, more often it is the case that many of us…

Source: Fear Sucks!

Roses, Violets and You

Posted in Uncategorized on July 8, 2016 by Stunning Love

I pray that today will be spectacular for you.

Source: Roses, Violets and You

Are you Happy or Joyous

Posted in Uncategorized on November 4, 2011 by Stunning Love

OMG, I had a slice of chocolate cake yesterday that made me so happy.  That cake was moist, light, and it had just the right amount of icing, it was perfect.  I have had so many experiences like that where I had the opportunity to enjoy something that was just wonderful and in that moment there was no where else I would rather be.  Then all of a sudden, the euphoria that I felt left, it was over and that amazing feeling of happiness was gone.  Like that cake that I had the pleasure of eating yesterday, not long after the cake was gone I could have been longing for more of that feeling.   However, this time I was not seeking anything not even a second slice because I have something more than the happiness that cake brought me.  I have  joy.

This joy is a new concept for me as I have only recently discovered Joy.  Joy began to show up in my life when I began to show up.  Upon discovering myself and what was important to me, I started to see the world in a whole new way.  I had never really defined myself before through my own eyes, it had always been what I thought others thought of me. I tried to be what I thought others wanted.  I was trying to create the perfect me so that I could have someone validate that I was good enough.  The problem with that is there is no such thing as a perfect me in anyone.  However what is perfect is that everyone is valuable and no one needs to say that you are it is simply a fact.

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I am what I eat.

Posted in Uncategorized on July 25, 2010 by Stunning Love

We have all heard the saying that “we are what we eat”,  I am smiling as I admit that for far to long I have been FAT.  I have really been enjoying those comfort foods that we all know so well.  Mac N cheese, chips, deserts etc. 

 I am in a place in my life where I am getting back to that happy little girl that I was before I became aware of the world.  You know that place where nothing else seems to exist except joy, and then life starts unraveling.  You begin to see cruelty and even experience it and for some like myself, you don’t really have the tools to deal so you can begin to find ways to heal from the pain that you feel.  For me that healing came in the form of those comfort foods that I mention above.

Thankfully I am back to that place where my life is more joyous.  I have the tools to deal with the  eb and flow of life and the power to remove myself from situations that do not serve me well.  I know how to comfort myself without the comfort foods.   Therefore it is time to break away from the bad habits and create new ones, as I have heard so many great speakers say.  I am now ready to do just that, I am ready to create a me that is healthier. I am ready to eat foods that represent the way that I feel which is light and exuberant.  Those comfort foods certainly do not make me feel  light.  On the contrary, usually what I feel after eating a bowl of apple pie is sluggish. I am ready to have the energy to create some great things in my life.  That does not mean that I am going on a diet and never eating chips again.  However what is does mean is that I am changing my life style.  The foods that I am choosing to comfort me are life affirming foods like those fruits and veggies that we all know we should eat as well as other foods that will help to facilitate a healthier happier me.

Are You Broken?

Posted in Uncategorized on July 25, 2010 by Stunning Love

Are you broken?

For many years I was going through life in a fog, I was here but not really.  I was kind of just letting life happen but not really creating life.  In recent years I decided that enough was enough and I wanted more, so I went on a journey of self discovery and what I learned was that I was broken.  I had experienced hurt and disappointment as a child that left me feeling insecure and vulnerable, broken.

Many people experience challenges that could leave them feeling small but they are able to overcome them because they have or at some point gain the tools to deal with their challenges.  

My challenge at a very young age was that I longed for the love of my father who was not there.  My father had another family and through my eyes it looked as if he chose them over me.  That experience said to me that I was not worthwhile to the very person who helped give me life.  I know that my story is not new but at the time I felt alone and crushed.  I am now a 38 year old woman who feels empowered and very much worthwhile but it was not until a few years ago that I could say that.  I realized that I had gone through my life desperate to make people like me, but I did not really like myself. 

I was not making smart choices about the people that I let in my life; they were not horrible people, most of them.  However they were often people who were similar to me in that they were not happy with who they were and that showed up in the way they treated me. 

What I have come to understand is that whole people are more often than not happy people and happy people are usually kind. So I had to forgive the people that hurt me.   I could forgive them because I realize they hurt me because they were hurt.  I had to stop holding on to the things that they said or did that broke me before I could begin to repair myself.   

I am so happy to have learned that I did not have to stay broken, that I could be whole.  Though healing ones self is not easy and it does not happen overnight it can happen, if we are willing to do the work;  the work of loving ourselves as well as accepting nothing less from others.  Because I love myself I now surround myself with friends who love themselves and as a result treat me well.

When I come across a person who is hurtful these days I don’t take it personal, and I also don’t stay around them for longer than is necessary.   

I realize that my mission is to live to continue to restore myself to the joyous little girl, once filled with love, wonder and amazement at life’s possibilities.

Who are your friends?

Posted in Uncategorized on July 25, 2010 by Stunning Love

Who are your friends?

Did your parents ever say to you” be careful who you become friends with, because you are your friends”.  As a kid I kind of understood what that meant.  If your friends are the type to get into trouble then they will probably influence you to do the same.

 I remember walking home one day from grade school when my friends and I decided to stop at our local store to buy some candy.  I was choosing the candy that I was going to buy when I noticed a couple of my friends stuffing their pockets.  I recalled my mom saying to me that trouble was easy to get into and very hard to get out of so I immediately put my candy down and bolted out of the store.  I was worried that if they got caught, I would get in trouble with them.  I still associated with them at school; they were good people who were making bad choices.  However I had no intention of being a thief so I figured that it were best that I did not go shopping with them.    

As I am navigating through life I am noticing just how wise my mother was.   It is certainly a challenge to be successful when you are around others who don’t have the same desire because they can become a distraction.  It is so important to know who you want to be and then find like minded friends who can help to motive and inspire you through their actions.  If your desire is to be a person who has integrity then it is important to surround yourself with friends who are trustworthy. 

Also if you want to have friends who are positive influences then you yourself need to be a positive influence and it is never too late to start.

Are you a sharer or hoarder?

Posted in Uncategorized on February 9, 2010 by Stunning Love

So I visited a friend and all throughout her home were piles and piles of clothes.  There were boxes of clothes under the table, clothes were pouring out of the closets and there were even clothes in bags with price tags on them.  She could afford all those things so that was a relief but why, why so much.   Was she and her family really wearing all the clothes that I saw, not possible.  So of course I asked and her reply was, “I don’t know.  Things get old and we think that we might wear them again so we don’t want to get rid of them.” 

Many of us are hoarders, not just with material things, but with far more important things like love, support, respect and compassion.  If we are sharing those qualities of ourselves at all, we only share with a select group of people. 

What is the world coming to.

I often hear people say, “what is the world coming to”, and what I know, is that depends on us.  What I have learned, is that the more we give, (with a generous heart) the more we will get.  To be able to offer money and material things to those in need is a blessing and when we can we definitely should.  However, we are all blessed with gifts that can often be far more valuable, such as kindness.  A smile does not cost a thing but could save a life. 

If we see someone traveling down the wrong road and we have directions, metaphorically speaking, we should offer the better route instead of pointing fingers and judging.  Shouldn’t we choose to aid in preventing a train wreck when possible?

Blessed am I to have known some very generous people, who have shared their wisdom, love and material things when I was in need of that.  I am thankful to have experienced the gift of generosity because it has taught me so much.  Giving has served to fill my soul, I feel richer when I share.  I am not wealthy by the worlds standards but I often feel prosperous.

I wonder what the world would look like if our leaders would share their countries resources instead of warring. Wouldn’t there be less poverty if we shared in such a way and wouldn’t that be awesome, heavenly even.

Who are you, what do you bring to the table?

Posted in Uncategorized on September 24, 2009 by Stunning Love

While on my own journey to become the best of myself I have had to ask some questions, some of which were a bit painful to answer.  The most important question for me was and is, what do I bring to the table.

It is often said that we are all connected, and if this is true, and I believe it is, then it is important for me to know how the life that I am living  is impacting the whole of us.  Am I contributing positively or negatively to the world. 

Gossip

Ok, I must be real, I have been guilty of gossiping in my life, but why.  Why do we gossip.  I am a joyful person now, not perfect but I like the road that I am traveling.  However, I am aware that most of my gossip sessions grew out of me trying to connect with a person or a group of people, wanting to belong, to be accepted.  When I began to accept myself without the need of validation from others, I began to have less of a desire to partake in gossiping.  What does gossiping really bring to the table, nothing at all.  It is never a positive thing to speak poorly about someone else.  The truth of the matter is that our words are very powerful, so when we use them for good or bad, it affects our lives directly.  When we talk about others behind their backs we are diminishing our integrity as well as bringing negitive energy to the worlds table.

Who are You?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on August 29, 2009 by Stunning Love

Does this sound familiar? 

Someone questions your career choice so then you begin to doubt it.   You are wearing an outfit that you think looks great, and you feel fantastic wearing it, until someone makes a negative comment.  You are having a difficult time making choices because you are constantly second guessing yourself.  You change or tweak your persona to fit that of those around you.  If this sounds familiar don’t beat yourself  up because you are not alone, and you can change these patterns. 

So now you are asking yourself, why do I behave this way?  The answer may be rather simple, you are most likely uncertain of who you are.  Now, the question becomes how do I become certain.  How do I become a confident person making concrete decisions.

I know 2 full proof questions to ask yourself that will help get you on track to find that confident person that you aspire to, and only two assignments that will aid you in getting there.

1 Ask  yourself; who am I?

To have the experience of a full and joyous life, we have to ask the question, Who am I.   Living in the shadow of others limits you tremendously.  When you allow the opinions of others to take precedent over your own, you are missing out on  opportunities to bring your own unique perspective to the table.  Knowing who you are allows you the freedom of filtering out the noise of the world, IE family, friends and everyone else who might make a judgement. 

What are those things which are most important to you

It is when you have  a clear vision of that which is important to you, that you are able to drop those things from your life that waste time or that bring you misery.  You can become more engaged in your life, creating spaces to do more of that which brings you the most joy. 

What are your morals and values. 

Writing down your morals and values, saying them aloud is definitely a great way to gain perspective on who you are.  Naming those things that you  are unwilling to do and calling out  behaviors that are unacceptable for you, will give you a road map to the type of life you want to live.  Setting boundaries will be a cinch, if you have an understanding of these basic principles.  Take cheating for example, if  you say that you are not a cheater than you will take the steps to not cheat in life, whether it be on your job, in school or with a spouse. 

Regarding a career, what path would you take if you already had all the money you wanted or needed? 

Knowing your true talents and abilities is the best place to start to answer this question.  Usually those things that a person is innately gifted in are those which would bring them the most genuine pleasure.  However there are exceptions, it can be true that you have an affinity for something, for which you have little skill.  You may have to work a bit harder to improve your skill to do as well as you would like, but if you truly enjoy it, than it would be worth the extra effort.  Whenever we are doing something that we enjoy it seems less like a tedious rat race and more like an experience that we are excited to have everyday.

2 What is my vision for my life?

Without a vision for our lives we will just wonder around aimlessly being unproductive and more often than not leaving behind a mess for others to clean up.

Assignment

a) Devise a plan.

Now that our vision is clear,what is your plan?

The difference between successful people and unsuccessful ones is that succesful people have a plan.  In order to accomplish your goals you need to have a plan that states clearly your plan of action. 

b) Follow through with your plan.

Creating a plan is great but now it is time to follow through.  Be sure to take the necessary steps to accomplish your goal and do not deviate from your plan unless, along the way you learn valuable techniques that can serve you better than your  first idea.

By following these steps you will create a confident person that you can be proud of. You will illuminate the world with your own unique light.